Monday, August 29, 2005

Yakult Files - Dos.

0057H. At ako ngayon ay nakikinig sa acoustic guitar version ng Eyes On Me ng Final Fantasy 8. 8 ba yun? Isang nakakalungkot na piece. Kanina naman yung Pachelbel Canon in D Major ata yun. Yung tinugtog nung girl dun sa My Sassy Girl nung binigyan siya ng rose ni Gyun-Woo. Nung 100th day nila. Hindi naman nakakalungkot yung kanta pero naiiyak ako. Wala lang. Tinotopak nanaman ako. Ngayong tapos na yung Eyes On Me, eto namang Gollum's Song, LOTR. haaaay.. syet nakakakatakot. Dilim pa naman dito sa kwarto ko. Teka, mapalitan nga. Eto. Butterfly Kisses. Hayan. Kanta ng tatay ko sakin kapag ikakasal nako. Naiiyak pa ako sa kantang to dati eh. Lagi ko tong nirerequest dati sa OKFm bago matulog!! Haha!! "With all that I've done wrong, I must've done something right." Miss ko na si daddy. Ayun. Nasa China parin cya. Sa Sept 2 pa cya uuwi. Yay! Pasalubong. Sana lang. Sana may dala cyang seaweeds para samin ni Shyn. Anyway, change topic. Hindi si mommy makakapunta sa debut. Nahihiya siya with all those Chinese people. Nga naman. Can't blame her. Pero diba isang beses lang ako mageeighteen. Chaka, edi magkabilang dulo sila ni Daddy diba? Magsama cya ng tigsampung Mediavillo at Loria. Chaka mas importante naman cya kesa sa mga guests ko. Chaka ilang buwan ko nang di nakikita mga kapatid ko. Sana nga makilala nila ako diba??? Kahit ang kukulit na nila at magwala pa sila at magtantrums pa sila dun, matutuwa pa ako!! Basta andun sila! [Commercial: 0110H. "Plantsa.. " nagtext cya.. "plantsa.. " din. Tapos na ung song. Eto.. Breathe. Faith Hill. Swak... ]Eniwei.. mga kapatid ko. Siguro andami nang nagbago.. Sorry at wala ako jan. Sorry talaga. Kung alam nyo lang... Mommy!!! Magdigdi ka ta dai ka pwedeng mawara!!!! Warang sakayan su ibang tawo pasiring digdi!! hehehe... jowk! :D " ..... just breathe." sabi nung kanta. ayun, nagtext uli cya.. :D sana tumawag ehehehe. Next Song.. haay.. I love songs!! Kaw rin ba?!! hehehe!! teka.. Fix You by Coldplay. Ayan. Yes I'm tired but I can't sleep.. I'm waiting for something. I hope it will come. Anyway, kinuha ko lang ung phone. Alang tao sa kwarto ng utol ko.. hmmm.. gumimik.. haaaaaay.. Yakult Files - Dos will have to end here. My wait has ended. *ring! ring!*
... extra+rice || 12:57 AM

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Eighteen.

1. I don't want attention.
2. I don't have people to invite.
3. It's not worth celebrating.
4. I don't feel eighteen.
5. My friends from Bicol won't be there.
6. My mom won't be there.
7. My relatives from Bicol won't be there.
8. I lack people for my Candles, Roses, etc... Ala na palang "etc." Candles at roses lang. Konti noh?
9. I am not close to my family. They barely know me. How can they say nice things about me, then? (Father's Side)
10. Consider me the blacksheep of the family.
11. My bestfriends won't be there.
12. I am not close to my blockmates. I can' t invite them.
13. I don't have any organization except for ROTC. I don't think my officers will come. They're my officers eh.
14. I don't think the training staff will come.
15. My friends hate me. They're not just telling me. Haha.
16. I really do not know how to socialize.
17. I can't face my grandmother's elitist friends.
18. I can only invite the few people I know. And some of them might not even come because of some emergency.
19. I do not feel special. I do not need to feel special.
20. Can I just spend a quiet evening with the few people I love?
21. People won't come. I just know it!
22. Can I cancel it na?? Pls? Before it's too late. Before I embarrass my family. Before I embarrass myself!
23. Pwedeng sasakyan nalang? O kaya credit card extension? O kaya trip to Europe? O kaya laptop??
24. O kaya kahit cash nalang? O kaya kahit wala nalang????
25. O kaya kahit recording studio???
26. O kaya i-enroll nyo ako sa isang music academy somewhere sa ibang bansa????
27. O kaya payagan nyo na akong tumira kina tito poch sa States???
28. O kaya payagan akong manirahan mag-isa. Total isolation. Basta may internet at YM!
29. At music!! Wag kakalimutan ang music!!
30. O kaya... pwede ko nabang makita si Kuya J? Finally.. para matahimik na ang lahat.

Kuya J...

Gustuhin ko mang bumalik. Di talaga eh. Nakakahiya.
Sorry.

Amen.
... extra+rice || 11:18 PM

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Stop The Time.

0401H sa PC ko. Matutulog pa kaya ako? I don't think so. :) Don't worry.. kaya ko to bukas. I'll just think of you. Wow. Yun lang.. Wow. How can I even begin to describe it? It was worth it. It was.. perfect.

I am so full of life because of you.
... extra+rice || 4:13 AM

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Sandok.

:)
...idw2d;iw2l :D
... extra+rice || 12:06 PM

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Angry Fire.

Angry Fire
(August 21, 2005, 2338H)

they were one with the downpour
speaking the language
of angry droplets
angry little children
a quiet mob that pelts us
unfair, unfair
again unfair
and we did not mind at all
to let them sink in our skin
but let them undress us later
betray the invisible truth
much to their disappointment
for truth was a double agent
and we paid golden time for it

freeze us? do they really think
making ice sculptures
out of you and me
will stifle burning hearts
that race against the numbness?
fever, fever
stubborn fever
and it did not wane at all
the cold looked for its killer
the dismal clouds and rain helped
the fury of the thick wind helped
much to their disappointment
they could not recognize us now
without our empty frozen eyes

we burned, we burned
how we burned!
... extra+rice || 11:35 PM

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Fire!.

"Sad Bullets"
(August 20, 2005)

sad
there's no other word to describe
the path of a thousand bullets
raining down on us--spiraling, spitting
drowning us crimson
the color of the myth they call love

sad
for the myth is not myth, but you
who cast a hundred thousand spells
melting steel and rust--deliberate, careful
proving them so wrong
stunning them hard but not hard enough

sad
but angry, but thankful, but true
angry for the thousand bullets
thankful for your spells--saving me, sheilding
true for it is true
sad but not anymore
for you take the sad bullets away
you keep the sad bullets from taking us away
... extra+rice || 10:13 PM

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Casper.

Casper.
...idw2d;iw2l :D
... extra+rice || 9:39 AM

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Hands Down.

Hands Down
(Dashboard C.)

Breathe in for luck
Breathe in so deep
This air is blessed
You share with me
This night is wild
So calm and dull
These hearts they race
From self-control
Your legs are smooth
As they graze mine
We're doing fine
We're doing nothing at all

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me
So I die happy
My heart is yours to fill or burst
To break or bury
Or wear as jewelry
Whichever you prefer

The words are hushed
Let's not get busted
Just lay entwined here
Undiscovered
Safe in here from all those stupid questions
"Hey did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb
Stay quiet
Stay nearStay close, they can't hear
So we can get some

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me
So I die happy
My heart is yours to fill or burst
To break or bury
Or wear as jewelry
Whichever you prefer

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo
The dim of the soft lights
The scent of your hair
That you twirled in your fingers
And the time on the clock
When we realized it's so late
And this walk that we shared together
And the streets were wet
And the gate was locked
So I jumped itAnd I let you in
And you stood at your door
With your hands on my waist
And you kissed me like you meant it
And I knew,
That you meant it...


I love this song :D
... extra+rice || 3:29 PM

Friday, August 12, 2005

Hey : )

Thank you for a very wonderful evening. :-)
... extra+rice || 1:45 AM

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

What Does It All Mean?

"Sana noh.. " -click on pic to enlarge.
- goo goo girl
... extra+rice || 11:30 PM

Yakult Files - Uno.

Wala lang. Sinusubukan ko lang naman kung ano ba ang La Salle pag gabi. Naglalakad ako ngayon sa may mga benches malapit sa central plaza. Naglalakad habang nagsusulat at nabibingi sa mga naghahasa ng something. Nasa central plaza na ako, papuntang Ampitheatre. Dun na ako tatambay. Sana hindi basa ang mga upuan. Nakarating na ako at umpisa na ang pag-mumuni-muni ko. Kakauwi ko lang kanina. Hinatid na ako pauwi. Bago pa pala nun, galing akong 7-11 at bumili ng Yakult. Iniwan ko muna yung binili ko sa bahay tapos bumaba ulit ako. Tagal ng elevator. Nakakaasar.

Wala lang, naisipan ko lang mapag-isa. Maganda pala dito. Tahimik. Sobra. Dito nalang ako tatambay. 2040H na. Anong oras ba nagsasara ang La Salle? .... May dalawang taong dumaan. Walang cute sa kanila, bwiset. May pusang umiiyak. Maingay. Tumigil. Sana di nalang siya tumigil. Darn. Naririnig ko na ang LRT. Naalala ko tuloy si Nice. Sana maabutan niya ang LRT para di na cya magjeep. May mga putok akong naririnig... bwiset. Si Manong lang pala, tulak ang kanyang de gulong na basurahan! Haha! Natatawa ako, akala ko kung anong ingay! Kala ko war of the worlds na hehehe! Sana ganito nalang lagi. Tahimik. Ayun nanaman! Yung pusang umiiyak! Bakit kaya cya umiiyak? Nasaktan kaya cya? o nawawala? o gutom? Kawawa naman.. parang si... hehehe... sino ba ang nasaktan kanina? Si Dee. Pero ayos na cya. Sana ayos na cya. Pero tingin ko ayos na cya. Anjan naman kasi si David eh. Sinong nawawala? In English, sinong LOST? Ako. Hehehe! Nawawala ako kasi walang nakakaalam kung nasan ako ngayon. Lagot ako sa tatay ko. Isa akong dakilang pasaway... At sinong gutom? Hay, tinatanong pa ba yan? Ako parin. Di pa ako kumakain eh.. pero ayos lang . Kelangan kong magkasya sa dress na susuotin ko sa pictorial ko sa August 17! (Happy b-day pala kay Abet!)

Anyway, kapag nalaman to nina Ate na andito ako ngayon, ano kaya iispin nun? Siguro mag-aalala yun... mag-assume ba! Mahal ako nun eh, natural mag-aalala yun. Pero, batchie, wala. Wala to. Sasabihin ko rin sayo balang araw kung bakit ako ganto lately. Balang araw. Siguro kapag may mga asawa na kayo. Pero pinapangako ko na bago ako mamatay eh sasabihin ko sainyo...

Medjo may mga dumadaan na rin. Mga uuwi. Uwi narin kaya ako? Mamaya na.. kapag feel ko na. Or kapag pinapaalis na akon dahil magsasara na ang La Salle at ako nalang ang tao dito. Natutulog na ang mga paa ko! Naka-Indian seat kasi ako dito. At kanina pa. Maiba nga ang upo... Hayan. Anong oras nga ba nagsasara ang La Salle? Galing ko rin noh? Second year na di parin alam kung ano ang closing time ng sariling skul. Hehehe.. malalaman ko rin yun. Marami ng taong dumadaan. Siguro nga closing time na. Eniwei... may nararamdaman na akong tubig na tumutulo. Umaambon na. Feel kong magpaulan. Tinutuluan na ang notebook ko. Haay.. siguro nga dapat umuwi na ako. Sige na nga. Uuwi na. Hay.. pero sana matagal ang oras ko dito. Sana kasama ko nalang cya. Maglalasing nalang ako ng Yakult sa bahay. 2100H. Sakto. Meow.
... extra+rice || 9:04 PM

So Wonderful.

"Minna Ga Ii Ne" by Maeda Ika
(Boys Be - Ending)

* riyuu nanka nakute issho nara ureshiku nattari
nan to naku tsuujiau minna ga ii ne

kawara no shamen nekoronda teashi wo nobashite
atama no ue wo tori-tachi ga tobitatta

futo miageta kyou no sora
doko made mo hirogaru
donna YUUTSU na koto demo
chiisaku omoeru yo

riyuu nanka nakute suki na uta kuchidzusandetari
sonna toki ga ichiban kimochi ga ii ne

yuugure ga kite yakyuujou yokogitte kaerou
jitensha notte akai kumo wo oikakete

SHATSU no mune wo fukuramasu
kaze wa yume no you de
motto hanashi ga shitai yo
ashita mata aou ne

itsuka konna hi mo owattari shite shimau no ka na?
zutto tanoshii hibi ga tsudzukeba ii no ni

Translation:

"All So Wonderful" by Maeda Ika
(Boys Be - Ending)

* For no particular reason, I'm happy just being with you
Somehow we can communicate, all so wonderful

Laying on a river bed, stretching my arms and legs
Birds flew in the sky above our heads

Suddenly looking up to the sky today,it seems to go on forever
No matter how depressing something is,it seems small in comparison

For no particular reason, I just hum a song I like
Such times are the best, it feels so wonderful

Dusk comes, and we go back through the baseball field
riding our bicycles, chasing the red clouds

The wind puffs up my shirt;it's just like in a dream
There's so much I want to talk about...
We'll meet again tomorrow, right?

Will such a day like today come to an end someday?
Though I wish these fun days would continue on forever
... extra+rice || 10:47 AM

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Not Now.

If you're wondering why I'm not telling anyone anything, please don't be alarmed. I am simply sparing you from further... complications. I do not wish to cause you any more trouble. It is better if I handle this on my own. Tama na.. tinamaan na haha!!

Kung tinatanong nyo kung mahal ko parin kayo.. hmm.. hindi na mawawala yun. :D Lalo ka na Shyntot : )
... extra+rice || 8:46 PM

Boys Will Be Boys.

true...
i'm used to it now. :)

i don't care who you are.
i can take it.
i can take you with me.

:)
... extra+rice || 11:43 AM

Monday, August 08, 2005

Marsians.

Siguro nga ganito talaga ang takbo ng mundo, noh? Kahit anong sabihin, kahit anong hitsura, accomplishments, family background, dugo, lahi, kulay ng buhok, o kaya ng mata, pare-pareho parin silang lalaki. Kahit anong sabihin eh... ganun eh. Wala na tayong magagawa. Wala na akong magagawa.
Bakit ba wala nang matino sa mundo? Kahit yung di mo akalaing mag-iisip ng ganun, aba, magugulantang ka nalang, e nagiisip parin pala ng ganun!! Bwiset talaga!!!!! Siguro nga tumatanda na ako at ganto talaga ang mundo dito sa Maynila. Pero pls lang, nasaan na ang respeto? Babae parin naman ako diba. Sige, di ko naman nigegeneralize, pero kasi ... dito ako namulat eh. Pasencya na ah. Open-minded na ako kung open-minded, sige. Pero.. chong. Foul na eh.

As I was saying, bakit wala nang matino dito sa mundo? Hay, siguro nga wala talagang itinadhana sakin. O baka sobrang idealistic na ako at umiiral na ang pagkaperfectionist ko pagdating sa mga bagay na ganyan. Macyadong maraming beses na akong nagkamali eh. O baka macyado ko lang ginagamit ang utak ko? Masama na ba yun ngayon? O iyon ang dapat? Ate? Nu tingin mo? Shyn, my heart???

Minsan naman sobrang taas ng tingin mo dun sa taong yun. Sobrang di mo pinapansin ang mga kapalpakan nya, binabawi nalang sa "cute naman cya eh". Ganun naman talaga kapag gusto mo ang isang tao. Pero pano kung major kapalpakan na? Pano kung yung tipong di mo akalaing nagawa or ginagawa or magagawa nya pero ayun, nagawa nga niya? Mag-iiba ba kaagad ang tingin mo sa kanya? Pagna-accept mo ba yun ibig sabihin iniibig mo na siya? Educate me. Bata pa ako eh.

Pano mo malalaman kung niloloko ka lang niya? Pano malalaman kung ipandidisplay ka lang pala nya? Pano mo malalaman kung totoong tao nga siya? Pucha, para akong nagbalik hayskul!!! Dapat by now, alam ko na ang mga sagot diyan! Sa tanda kong to! Pano mo malalamang hindi siya katulad ng iba? Pano mo malalamang HINDI KA NIYA SASAKTAN tulad nila?!

Ngunit.. Subalit.. Datapwat...

Ever After
by Bonnie Bailey

Three years ago my journey began
Chasing down this cure, no plan in hand
Just your pulse, my racing guide in the dark
Just knowing with conviction from the start
The moment your eyes made an introduction
I felt my second violent breath of life
Flawless to the point of being godly
YET I FELL HARD FOR YOUR IMPERFECTIONS

And now weRre slightly weathered, we're slightly worn
Our hands grip together eye to eye through the storm yet
I still believe in ever after with you
Coz life is a pleasure with you by my side
And there ain’t no current in this river we can’t ride
I still believe in ever after with you

Nothing compares to the good times
Feels like we're floating when the rest have to climb
You made me believe in love and not the perfect kind
A real messy beautiful twisted sunshine
Emotions volcanic eruptions
We both still care so we’re still alive
Tunnel vision, determination
I want you I want to make it right

You are my twisted sunshine.
... extra+rice || 9:49 PM

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Pahabol.

Si casper pa pala. :)
Maraming salamat.
... extra+rice || 1:37 PM

Turnover.

babalikan
by bravo '04

masakit man sa puso namin
kailangang tanggapin
ang oras ay umiikli
ginintuang sandali

matagal narin ang pagsasama
di nakapagtataka
na kami ay nasanay nang
makita ang inyong mga mukha

paalam na sainyo
kay raming magbabago
paglabas nyo sa tunay na mundo
dasal nami'y kayanin nyo
dasal nami'y kayanin nyo

ito'y aming pasasalamat
sa mga luha't ngiti
lahat ng aming natutunan
dito'y mananatili

salamat po sainyo
bulong ng aming puso
paglabas nyo sa tunay na mundo
tandaan na mahal namin kayo
tandaan na mahal namin kayo

paalam na ngunit huwag kalimutan
ang lahat ng pinagdaanan
lagi lang tatandaan
na kayo'y may babalikan
may babalikan

paalam na sainyo
kay raming magbabago
paglabas nyo sa tunay na mundo
dasal nami'y kayanin nyo
tandaan na mahal namin kayo...

To Sir Flores and Sir Mina:
Simple lang pero... sana nagustuhan nyo. Salamat sa lahat. Mamimiss namin kayo. Ala na kaming tatay :'( Ingat nalang at God Bless.
... extra+rice || 9:47 AM

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Cold Disappointment.

"Em, who are you?"
" Merely a kid keeping alive."
- goo goo girl
... extra+rice || 11:57 AM

Wake Up.

Now I realize I don't own anything at all.
Cguro yung mga pamana lang ni Sir Mina na books.
Those are the only things I own.
Lahat ng ito hindi pala sakin. Wala lang.
Drama.
... extra+rice || 5:00 AM

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Slap Me.

If I become mean, would it help? What I mean is, if I become a little bit more impolite, conceited, bratty, sarcastic, judgmental, bitchy, and, um, disrespectful than I am right now, will I finally make it in this world? It seems to me that "bad" is the new "good" now. Or maybe "good or bad", or should I say, "right or wrong" never really existed after all, right?

I'm full of crap!!
... extra+rice || 10:53 PM